25 (useless) Facts About Me

So, here are my useless facts about me. I may go into detail about some of them another day..

 

1. I worry about absolutely nothing
2. I bite my nails (pretty sure everyone does to some extent?)
3. I end up saying things that I find funny at the wrong time
4. I sing really loudly, really badly at work
5. I forget to text/ring someone back
6. I always think I look like a whale when I probably just look like a baby whale..
7. I overthink
8. I like to think that I’m sometimes indestructible
9. I’m quite gay
10. I’m not very good at Mathematics
11. I can’t draw
12. I can play guitar, bass and kinda sort of drums
13. I’m from South Yorkshire
14. Chocolate oat milk by Oatly is pretty much the love of my life
15. I have 2 cats and 3 rabbits
16. I don’t like rabbits. I think I genuinely have a fear of them?
17. I’m 5″1. Tiffany’s niece is 11 years old and the same height, if not taller..
18. I want to be a dog handler in the RAF Police
19. My driving test is next week (7th November)
20. I’m ridiculously petrified of piers, I went on one a month or so ago and I ended up crying on it because I was that scared (pathetic I know)
21. I care too much about people that don’t care about me
22. I still think about things that happened in 2012
23. I went through a really, really, REALLY emo phase. It was tragic.
24. I think that my other half is an absolute dream
25. I actually enjoy the gym??

 

There we are, short and sweet. But now you know me a tiny bit more! Let me know some facts about you! Just comment down below!

A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self.

So you’re 16 now? Happy Birthday! You’ve just officially come out of the closet, too? AND you’re in a relationship with a girl who lives miles and miles away? Wow. Have a good time! Stop stressing about your GCSE results (they were pretty lame I know but its cool in 4 years time you won’t imagine you’d be living somewhere else with no family or these friends you have or even the relationship at the minute) I am sorry to break it to you as well buuuuuut this relationship that you are completely obsessed with at the minute is going to stop in 2 days. The friends that are at your party (I say party, I mean just getting drunk at your Mums house) won’t be in your life in a few months. College will happen, you’re going to do Music Tech. Sarah (sister) is going to somehow try to convince you to do painting and decorating, you’ll consider it. But you won’t do it because you’ve got your heart set on being a musician/producer.

So it’s a couple of months down the line, you’re now at college, got a new set of pals, bagged yourself a bright pink bass guitar and you’re doing gigs and loving the stuff you’re doing at the minute, but hold on to your butt lil Molly because someone else is going to come into your life and she’s going to change your life practically forever. You’ll fall in love with her (more than you thought you was in love in your previous relationship) and you’ll get treated better than you probably deserve at the minute. Just don’t be too much of an arsehole, I know that’s hard for you mate but come on, just stop for around 0.002 seconds. And congratulations, you’re no longer single, you’re now completely attached to this wonderful, ridiculously beautiful, kind, funny and just lovely human being. She’s going to make you see that not everything or everyone is bad, she’s going to make you see that not everyone is out to just use you whenever they want and then when they get bored just push you away to the side and completely forget about you. Until 2 years later and they’re still popping in and out of your life, fucking around with your head and only wanting to speak to you because you’re that silly to reply and be friendly with them, but STOP. Stop surrounding yourself with the negativity, stop surrounding yourself with all the bad people who you don’t need. Just focus on you and Tiff, you’re family, college and focusing on what you’re dream career is.

It’s 2013.

This year is going to completely hit you in the face, chew you up and spit you out kiddo. This year is not going to be “your year”

The first couple of months will be okay-ish. But you’ll stop going to college. You’re not sure why because you were actually doing pretty well. But you know what you’re like, don’t ya ey? A few more months will go by, you still have your Sunday job. It’s now May. And you’ve done something completely crazy and also a bit stupid. You’ve decided to wait until your Mum and Dad have gone to work, you’ve got a suitcase and packed all of your things, cut yourself and ran off to live with Tiff. Clever. How very adult of you. You don’t realise that your family will be so upset, angry, confused but mostly angry. You’ll get a phone call whilst you’re on the train going down south from your sister and she’ll think you’ve hung up on her when in reality the signal is absolutely shocking. You’ll feel bad, you’ll feel every negative emotion that you can feel, you finally get to Ely train station and you’ll be greeted by Tiff and you’ll cry, cry some more and then cry a little bit more. You’ll turn your phone off because for some reason you think that’s a good idea at the time, but it’s more like a “I’ll turn it off because I’m scared of what everyone thinks” And yeah, your family will resent you for a little bit, you’ll want to apologise and beg for their forgiveness but you being you, you don’t. Because you’re scared of the reply.

A few months will go by, it’s August. You’ve chopped your hair off (not voluntarily, Tiff got way too carried away and now you look like a boy, HA! Thank goodness for hair extensions) You’ve applied for college, you chose to study Media. Media is good right? RIGHT! You make some pretty cool friends, all of them obviously take the piss out of your ‘northern’ accent but still, they’re pretty chill and nice. It’s getting close to your 17th birthday. You’re planning to go back up to Yorkshire to celebrate, of course you’re nervous. Things still aren’t brilliant with your family yet, you know they haven’t forgiven you yet for running off like a dickhead. But just you wait til after your 17th birthday. You won’t see it coming, you can’t prepare for what’s about to happen to you. Get ready to get your whole world turned upside down..

 

 

 

Coming Out: My Story

So yeah, I’m going to jump onto the bandwagon very, very late and tell a little story called Me. This chapter I guess, is being called Coming Out. So sit back, relax, grab a cuppa and have a read.

I think I’ve always sort of ‘known’ I mean yeah, I’ve had boyfriends but I’ve never an attraction towards them like I have whenever I’ve been in a relationship with a girl. In my past relationships with girls, I’ve felt a sort of warmness, a feeling of being comfortable and just, a feeling of “yeah this is right” but with boys, I’ve always just kinda been like, I’d rather be pals. I’ve always been ‘one of the boys’ I guess? Well, I’ve always got on with them better I guess? The funny thing is that now that I’ve been ‘out’ for a good few years now my Dad always says to me “Well, we always thought you were a boy anyway” so I guess in that way me being gay is being close enough! The other half of the question “when did you know” is how did I know and to be honest, I just saw a girl and I was instantly attracted to her, and when girls say that they have girl crushes and then move on from the subject and talk about something else, I’d be thinking about it for a while and be like woah, why am I thinking like this about a girl? It wasn’t until I had my first proper girlfriend in 2011 that I really realised that girls were a thing that I was interested in, the first ever kiss I had with a girl felt like something out of a movie. Sounds ridiculous but, I’m just being completely honest. So I suppose from then on, I just knew that I wasn’t interested in boys one bit, girls are what I’m interested in. Yeah  I admit, I have a soft spot for Zac Efron but I don’t think I’m alone with that one.

I can remember when my family found out, well, I say “found out” I mean my sister told them. Which is perfectly fine, it saved me a job of telling them! But I can still remember it, I was stood in the kitchen, my sister was there too and my Mum and Dad were going out somewhere (probably shopping) and I said that I was going to Meadowhall at the weekend (it’s a shopping centre near where I used to live) and my Mum obviously questioned why and my sister just came out with “to see her girlfriend” and Mum looked at me and said “you have a girlfriend?” and at the time I was having a drink out of the cupboard and obviously because it took me by surprise, I am 99.9% sure I choked a little. So I just looked at my Mum and just nodded my head, she then of course said “really?” in kind of an excited way and I just said yeah! That was it, everyone just knew. And luckily for me, I live with a family that doesn’t care who you love, just as long as I’m happy they’re not bothered. Which I think is incredible, I’m so lucky to have a supportive, understanding and chill family. When I first lets say, went ‘public’ about being gay I just put a status on Facebook and said “yes im gay get the fuck over it x” which i’m pretty sure at the time I thought I was amazing and funny and witty, it wasn’t til I had people commenting on it saying stuff like “GU ON MOLLY” I then felt a sense of wow yeah, this is okay, I’m okay, no one hates me, people still want to be my friend because for some reason I thought that I’d get loads of hate, loads of people being disgusted that I am actually gay and not going through a “phase.” I hate to think about the young men and women that are gay or want to be a different sex, or just want to be themselves and live in a homophobic environment and aren’t able to truly be comfortable and happy within themselves. I hate hearing stories about people being kicked out of their homes, or even villages just because they love someone that is the same sex. If I could give one piece of advice to people who live in situations like that I’m not sure what I’d say. I’d love to just say “screw them, you love who you love and if they can’t appreciate and be proud of you anyway then they’re not the type of people you need to surround yourself with” and for that sentence to just solve everyone’s problem. But it’s not going to, it’s going to take a lot more than a blog post, it’s going to take more than a gay pride parade, it’s going to take an incredibly long time for people in the majority of the world to be fine with it and just accept people for who they are. I’d like to hope that by the time my kids are teenagers or even completely grown up they won’t be afraid to hold his boyfriends hand or give her girlfriend a cuddle in public and not have to deal with people looking at them both in a strange way and for them to go out to dinner and hold each others’ hand across the table without thinking ‘oh what if they’re talking about us’ or thinking ‘oh we shouldn’t be doing this, people might not like it’ I hope they’re free, I hope they’re happy to do things and not even think about it. I’d love it for one day for certain events like the shooting in Orlando to be in lets say, a history book and for them to come home and say “I can’t believe that happened, everyone is equal, why did that happen. That’s such a silly thing to do” I’d love that. The event that happened in Orlando was heartbreaking and I still saw people on social media being horrible and saying things like “oh they deserved it” because they didn’t. They’re human beings just like everybody else, they have families and children, jobs and they shouldn’t of got their lives taken just because of the person they love. And I just feel so glad that I was born and raised in such a loving household and didn’t get thrown out because of who I’ve fallen in love with.

I’m not entirely sure if me being gay has affected my work/social life that much. Sure, I get a little nervous to tell people that I’m gay because I get worried as to what they’re reaction is, but in the job I have now they’re fine with it. None of the women I work for literally give a shit, which is amazing. I don’t feel uncomfortable talking about my other half, I don’t get nervous to bring up what we did at the weekend which at one of my previous jobs I used to get absolutely bombarded with questions and statements like “who’s the boy” “what’s it like being gay” “oh, I couldn’t be gay” and my personal favourite thing someone I’ve worked with has said “I was gay for a little while” That still makes me like this..

I’ve literally never heard something so ridiculous in my life! Even to this day it gets on my wick, ah goodness me. But ANYWAY moving swiftly on, my social life however was pretty good! I had a fair few pals (yes some of them were gay) but if we’re talking about present social life..I don’t really have one? I just go to work, go home, cook tea, watch TV and go to bed. Might go out for dinner with Tiffany sometimes and go to the gym but social life as in going for nights out with friends and stuff, I don’t particularly do any of that. I don’t mind not doing anything like that, I’m quite content being in my own little routine. Routine is good, routine is key. But when I used to go out for nights out quite often, I remember going out with Tiffany and making friends with random drunk people and just telling them that the person I’m out with is my girlfriend, not giving a care whether they’re incredibly homophobic or not. 9/10 they’re like “no she’s not you’re lying you don’t look gay” but of course there’s some people out there that don’t like it but you can sort of pick them out. But other than that, I’ve not had that much shit from people. Which I again, think I’ve got lucky with.

So here we are 5 years down the line, still being as gay as can be and still pretty happy with things at the minute. So hey, if you’re gay be proud of being who you are, be proud to hold your significant other’s hand. Be proud to not give a shit about what people think about it, like I said, if they’re not accepting, they’re not worth your time. Pick yourself up, carry on and just be proud to be free, loving and happy. I don’t think there’s much more you’d want, other than money. Money would be amazing. To win the lottery that would be amazing, but whatever I’m losing the main message here. I’d just love for everyone to be happy, be comfortable, be accepted, be loved, be cherished, be appreciated. I’d just love for everyone to get on, put aside race, sex, sexuality, religion, what size they are, what their hair is like, if they’re rich, if they’re poor. Just treat everyone the same and just get on with everything, stop all the killing, stop all the terrorism, stop arranged marriages, stop just the massive amount of shit that is happening everyday, every second, every minute. All the children that are being killed from air strikes that are destroying peoples’ homes is unnecessary, stop fighting fire with fire. I am aware that this has taken a strange turn from me talking about my ‘coming out’ story to wanting peace and happiness and everything. I didn’t think this would end up here, but hello we are here. It needs to be spoken about, it needs to be acknowledged. I am acknowledging it, I want it to change. I guess I’m just passionate about wanting to save lives, wanting people to be happy, wanting people to stop feeling the pain that they have to go through everyday, I want families to be families again, a mother and father shouldn’t have to bury their son/daughter. A son and daughter shouldn’t have to bury their mother and father due to war, due to hate crime, due to people killing just because they think it’s necessary. It’s not. None of the violence is necessary. It shouldn’t happen. It needs to stop.

Thanks for reading what started out to be lighthearted and ended up being about war and things that have absolutely nothing to do with what I was originally started out to write, sorry about that. Maybe I should do an actual blog post about it, as I’ve gathered I’m passionate about it. Anyway, I best be going. Got stuff to do and people to see.

 

 

 

New Blog Section: Let’s Talk About It

So before we actually do talk about it, I just wanted to introduce a new section to the blog. The ‘Let’s Talk About It’ section. I’m not sure what we’re going to talk about. But I’ll basically just be talking rubbish, so prepare yourself! It’s going to be a rollercoaster of topics including..not sure what yet. But if you have any suggestions, please, please let me know because I think it could turn out to be pretty interesting I guess?

I want it to be sort of, interactive. So I can talk about things, give my own opinion and you respond and voice yours! Obviously, nothing too deep, horrid or something that’ll get me extradited and executed ok? So let’s have it! Bombard me with ideas and suggestions!

WHAT SHALL WE TALK ABOUT!?

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What Shall We Talk About?(required)

Funny Stuff Things That Are Great in The World Books Technology Films TV Music Food Drink Feelings Opinions Beliefs Science Sexuality Something Else?

Something Else?(required)

Submit

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I Have New Hair!

So a few weeks ago, I decided that I was completely and utterly bored with the mop on the top of my head and thought “eh I might as well shave it off” and I did! Well, not completely. But most of it. I’ve always wanted my hair done like this but I’ve never had the balls to do it but then I thought if I don’t like it, it’ll grow back anyway. Got to change it up ya know, keep it fresh, KEEP IT FUNKY! (I’m kidding, I’ve never even been close to funky and fresh) So here we go, say hello to my new hair..

 

 

I Just Needed Some Time..

So I am aware that I haven’t posted anything on here for quite some time and I’m not even entirely sure if I have a good enough reason as to why I haven’t made the effort to sit down and write something. One of the reasons I haven’t posted anything in a while is because I got a job! I work with two ladies, both are the super funny, super chill and my type of people. In a way, I think they make work more enjoyable because it’s not just awkward silences all the time, it’s laughing about absolute rubbish, singing along with songs that are on the radio and helping each other out if we’re stuck on things. Well I say that, I mean them helping me out because there is a LOT to learn but I’ll get there! Perhaps in 300 years but I’ll get it one day (I hope) but so far, so good! Plus, I couldn’t particularly think of anything to speak about that could be interesting for people instead of absolute WAFFLE.

There isn’t really any other reasons as to why I haven’t posted anything. I think I just needed some time away from things, I can kinda feel myself drifting into bad habits; thinking negative about things, self-doubting myself every second of everyday. Being snappy and argumentative with people that are close to me. At the minute I just feel sort of alone, I know I’m not alone because I’m surrounded by people all the time at work and at home. I have Tiff which of course I’m grateful for all the shit she puts up with and for letting me have a good moan to her about anything that I need to. I feel like I’m sometimes selfish for always being sad about something, even if nothing has particularly happened that day. I feel selfish for not wanting to do certain things, I feel selfish for just everything. I feel like I keep doing everything wrong, I keep making the wrong decisions, making the wrong call on things and just not being logical about any decision that I make. As I’m sat here typing this, I keep pausing and thinking about what to say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing. But then I think to myself, what am I going to say that’s wrong? Then my mind goes blank. I just stare at the keyboard. Oh man, I have no idea what I am doing. Imagine this: you’re sat at a desk, drinking tea, listening to the radio and all of a sudden you feel this heaviness. Just come out of nowhere, but it’s sat on your chest, on your shoulders and in your head. The saying “a weight has been lifted from my shoulders” I wish I knew what that felt like. I’m not sure if I’ve ever had that sensation of relief, the sensation of ah, I am so relaxed I could be laying on a cloud, surrounded by Greek gods and goddesses feeding me grapes and fanning me with an over sized leaf. Instead, I feel like I’m constantly carrying a sack of bricks on my chest, balancing 2 obese twins on my shoulders and got an annoying woman called Sally Sad and David Depressed in my head. It’s been a good few month since I’ve actually felt this rubbish? The amount of times today I’ve said “yeah I’m fine!” I could literally be a billionaire. I hate to be the mopey one of the clan but I just can’t help it. Once again, I feel like I’m in a cycle of wanting to cry about absolute nothing and just rip my hair out (which I have actually got a new hairstyle I’ll talk about that in another post.) I don’t feel like eating anything but because I’m not eating anything I feel sick but then, I feel sick because I’ve eaten. I’m not sure what to do about anything.

Tiff is off to uni in a few months to study to become a nurse in January, I’m honestly so so proud of what she’s achieved and how determined and strong she is. In some sort of strange way, I envy how she knows what she wants to do. I have no idea, I’m not particularly intelligent or talented. I’m just think I’m mediocre at things, I mean I’m alright making people laugh, I’m very good at breathing and I’m also very good at walking. God, I have no idea what I’m even talking about now. I think I’m just waffling on and on and on about me feeling sorry for myself when people do actually have it a lot worse. I think I just need to stop bloody moaning! Anyway, I’m going to eat some soup.

If I don’t write anything any time soon, I hope everything is going well! I hope you’ve achieved something super cool and you are bragging to someone about how cool you are. And if not, that’s ok! Just keep doing you boo, you do you.

The Complicated Maze That is My Mind

Check out my mental health post in preparation for my first post in a month tonight!

Molly Richards

I’m not one to speak openly about my feelings, I’m definitely one of those people who just say “Yeah, I’m fine!” instead of bothering people with the fact that I want to cry uncontrollably for no reason what so ever. But before we get to that, lets start at the beginning of well, the beginning of something that I’m not sure will ever truly go away. I’m finding it hard to get the words out onto here, I’ve never publicly said what I’ve been trying to deal with for the past few years and it’s proving difficult but I feel like I need to do this for 2 reasons:

1. To speak about this publicly means people will (maybe) read this and relate to some of the things I’ll write about and it may spur them on to go see someone, even if it’s just a family member. Just talk.
2. I…

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The Beach and Family Time

As I’m sure you’re aware I didn’t post anything yesterday and the reason for that is, I went to the coast with Tiffany and her family and we didn’t get back til late and the sea air had knocked me out. So I’m sorry about that! But yesterday was nice, I actually left the house and actually did something instead of moping around! I simply just wanted to make a blog post about this because I’ve decided I’m going to document really good memories on here so I can look back on them and remember the day that I tried to run on sand but I just looked drunk.

I’m just going to insert a few pictures and some gifs down below:

My absolute FAVOURITE thing is 2p machines, they are the best thing since sliced bread. Seriously.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Atleast she looks like she’s having a good time right?

YOU GO GIRL! YOU ROCK THAT RED DRESS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m really sorry if you hate feet but, got to get the artsy feet shot in the sea haven’t I!

 

 

 

 

This is honestly the most ridiculous ride I have seen, no way in a million years would you see me on this. Just watching people on it made me feel a little queasy! And trust me when I say this, the ground shook when it slowed down to stop. Nearly ran for cover as I thought it was an earthquake…

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally, here is the ‘Giant Wheel’

 

I know this post didn’t have loads of writing but I don’t have much to say other than, yesterday was nice to just chill for abit, walk around, go on the beach, paddle in the sea and spend some time with my other half and her family. You have to take time out sometimes and just try to appreciate the things and the people that are around you. So go give your cat a cuddle, go pat your dog’s belly, tell your Mum that she’s doing a good job and then tell you Dad he’s great. And then your siblings? Well, you can’t be nice to them, that’s what siblings are for. Bullying.

 

 

 

 

 

Being Vegan: My Favourite Foods

You may not be aware of this, but yes I am proudly vegan and I am happy that I’m making a difference to the planet. But this is not what I’m writing about today. Today ladies and gentlemen, I am going to enlighten maybe quite a few people on what vegans ACTUALLY eat. Not what people think we eat, believe it or not I don’t actually eat a whole lot of salad (I probably should) but I don’t. There’s so many delicious alternatives to what many people eat on a regular basis and I want to share with the world what vegan options are out there! I do want to point out before I start that I am in no way preaching to you and I am NOT trying to shove veganism in anyone’s face because that’s what a lot of people seem to think vegans are about. But it’s not, we’re just passionate about a cause and we just want to stick up for the animals that aren’t able to stick up for themselves. The food I’m going to talk about and gush over is just the food I like, not every began will eat like this. I’m an unhealthy vegan. Let’s get started!

Lunch

So these are a few of my favourite things to eat for lunch or if I’m out and about and just need refuelling. Although they’re not on here, Holland & Barrett do insane alternatives to the humble sausage roll called the “Sos Roll” and the steak bake “Steakless Bake” you can also get other things like Vegan Scotch Eggs/Lattice Slices etc, but I’ve never tried them so I wouldn’t know if they’re tasty!

This is a spinach and falafel burger from Walkabout which is a chain of Australian pubs in the UK. Tasted so so good, usually you can find that the burgers can be a little dry but this one just melted in the mouth! The chips were absolutely filled with potato unlike some that you get and it’s just air inside a potato skin.

 

This is a vegetable stir fry with vegan quorn chicken pieces, this is especially good if you’re on a budget or you don’t have much time to cook. It literally takes 10 minutes! Bag of frozen stir fry veg from any supermarket, microwave rice, some vegan quorn chicken pieces. Stick it in a wok and cook for about 10 mins. But don’t forget to add some flavour with a splash of soy sauce and a shake of salt and pepper.

 

 

 

Behold! Mac & Cheese! I’ve only just started having this recently as I was never really a fan when I did eat dairy but I trusted Tiff when she made it me and it actually tasted pretty darn good! Quick and easy to make just like the stir fry, but obviously you have to boil your macaroni, make sure it’s soft and whilst you’re waiting on that you make the “cheese” part. You can get it from most supermarkets, it’s called dairy free cheese flavour sauce mix by I think Free & Easy. But instead of using water, use unsweetened soya milk to make it creamier. Apparently it being made with water isn’t very good.

 

 

CHEESE AND TOMATO TOASTIE!!! For real, I used to live on toasties, I think I would’ve probably got married to one if I could. But obviously when I became vegan I waved it off and wept. But then we found Violife! It smells like a super strong cheese and I do not like it just on a sandwich, I can’t handle it. But on a toastie, that’s a whole new story. It melts just like ‘normal’ cheese and it just makes me happy. Even if you’re not vegan, I still recommend. Give it a try! I always add a quick splash of tomato sauce to give it a bit of a tang but of course, that’s completely optional. You can get Violife from the majority of supermarkets.

 

Obviously there are loads of other options but these are my favourites.

Dinner or as I like to call it, Tea

These are some of my favourite things to have on an evening. Filled with goodness and no animal produce needed!

These are lettuce tacos filled with (again) vegan quorn chicken pieces in a fajita spice mix with peppers, mushrooms, onion and garlic served on top of some homemade guacamole and then hugged by lil lettuce leaves and of course, a corn on the cob. Because, why not? These are so easy to make, tasty, quick and full of GOODNESS! (see homemade guacamole below)

Easy peesy lemon juice squirted in with mashed up avocado, chopped red peppers, crushed garlic, a spritz of salt and pepper and mix together until it looks all combined and one giant mush of heaven.

 

 

 

 

 

So this was a cool day, me & Tiff were up north visiting family and we ended up having tea at my Grans, she’d never had anything vegan before so she pretty much insisted us to make her something vegan. This is what we came up with! Thin pizza base, red pepper hummus topped with red onion, mushrooms, yellow and red pepper and then just a sprinkling of sweetcorn on the top! Then with the left over hummus, sweetcorn and onion we made a dip which I must admit at first I was like “oh God I’m not sure if this going to taste good!” But I must admit, it was tasty! My gran also stuck some oven chips in and that was it! The pizzas took about 15/20 mins. Then as a dessert we got some chocolate lollies with ice cream in the middle. All completely dairy, egg, gluten and wheat free! You can buy the ice creams from most supermarkets.

 

Not the most beautiful looking tea I must admit BUT I think it’s one of the most tastiest and it’s one of those where you just knock it together, hope for the best and ending up falling in love with it. It’s roasted carrot and parsnips with black pepper laced on the top and then mash potato made with dairy free butter and also some fried mushrooms and onion. Super tasty and moderately quick.

 

I feel like there’s a theme reoccurring in each of these dishes, they’re all quick and easy but still so, so tasty. Obviously some aren’t going to appeal to everyone but each to their own!

The Sweet Stuff/Snacks

This is the unhealthy part, the section where I tell you about how fab these are and how I will 100% crave them afterwards. But instead, I’ll (try) to workout. I probably won’t but let’s just pretend.

 

Lets start off with my birthday cake that me and Tiff made this year! I absolutely love baking, that much I even took it as a GCSE back in high school. It’s so, so simple to bake a vegan cake. So simple all you need is 2 ingredients.

1. A cake mix of your choice, I usually go for plain sponge.
2. 250ml of lemonade OR cola if you want.

That’s it. Empty the cake mix into a bowl and slowly pour the lemonade in! It’ll look super strange and scary but just keep mixing, it’ll all come together! Then stick it in the oven for how ever long it tells you to. We usually go for a classic sponge cake with some kind of filling in the middle. We use Betty Crocker icing to smear in the middle, but to also use on the top of the cake. On this one we used lemon flavour as we wanted like a lemon drizzle sort of cake because lemon drizzle is my all time love (as well as toasties) we then got some edible but also vegan decorations (watch out for the whey powder) and tried to make it look as cute as possible!

This chocolate cake is another example of the cake mix and lemonade. Except we (obviously) used the chocolate icing. And because we found out that Biscoff biscuits are vegan we stuck some crushed up ones in the middle of this cake and sprinkled some on the top. Absolute heaven. I’m literally having heart palpitations as I type this. Hell yeah baking. The cake mixes and lemonade you get from any shop, just make sure it’s 250ml of any carbonated drink.

 

VEGAN WAGON WHEELS! Also known to be a “Round Up” aswell as having the classic chocolate flavour you can also get mint and an orange flavour now! They’re absolutely incredible. As you can see from the image they’re literally jam-packed with filling! I also think the “EAT ME” on the top is so cute. Ah, it’s the little things. You can order these online. Definitely recommend these if you want to have high sugar levels.

 

 

Now we get to ice cream! This ice cream is honestly, oh my goodness it’s literally amazing. It’s so smooth, sweet and chocolatey all at the same time. Warning: If you eat a whole tub at once you will feel sick and want to go into a chocolate coma. Although I do love this ice cream I now tend to go for the vanilla flavour and if you’re feeling extra fatty, you can go pick up some Oreos (yes! They’re vegan too!) and crush them up and mix them all together in a bowl and have yourself a lil oreo ice cream love fest. Can get this from all supermarkets.

 

Now I only just really discovered these a few weeks ago after Tiff buying some and making me try them. But they’re actually pretty tasty! They taste like Quavers, but the difference is that they’re made with quinoa which is incredibly good for you, it contains small amounts of omega-3, fatty acids and has a higher content of monounsaturated fat. It’s packed with protein and contains all nine essential amino acids! They’re cut into a wave-type shape which is cute as heck and they’re packed full of flavour. So if that’s not convincing you to try them then, well that’s fine. Your loss though. You can get these from most supermarkets now.

 

Mini Moos! This one is honeycomb and my personal favourite because it has lil honeycomb chunks in the back of it. There’s of course other flavours like mint, orange and just plain organic. You can get these from I think pretty much all the supermarkets, just go to the free from range. Although it has no dairy in it, it’s smooth like milk chocolate and definitely melts in your mouth like no other.

 

 

And that’s it! These are my favourite vegan foods to get in the supermarkets and online. I am happy I’m vegan and I like to share stuff with people that they may not know, I know writing a blog post won’t get people to try these foods but if you do, let me know!

 

The Complicated Maze That is My Mind

I’m not one to speak openly about my feelings, I’m definitely one of those people who just say “Yeah, I’m fine!” instead of bothering people with the fact that I want to cry uncontrollably for no reason what so ever. But before we get to that, lets start at the beginning of well, the beginning of something that I’m not sure will ever truly go away. I’m finding it hard to get the words out onto here, I’ve never publicly said what I’ve been trying to deal with for the past few years and it’s proving difficult but I feel like I need to do this for 2 reasons:

1. To speak about this publicly means people will (maybe) read this and relate to some of the things I’ll write about and it may spur them on to go see someone, even if it’s just a family member. Just talk.
2. I want to start fresh, I want to be able to close this chapter of my life and start a new one, a happier one, a more relaxed one.

So let’s go back to where I’m in high school. I’m doing fine, not the smartest, most talented teenager but I’m bobbing along just fine. But obviously, as quite a few people that I’ve seen talk about their issues have said “it’s just a front” which is true. It honestly is the truth. I can walk around, massive smile on my face, saying hello to everyone, chatting to anyone who wants to but last night, I’d been crying for hours, wanting to kill myself, resorting to self harm. I know it sounds so dramatic but it’s what I’d been doing for a few month. I’d been to see someone about how I’d been feeling but I was there only a month and a half before I’d been discharged, I seem to think that if I stuck a smile on my face and said “yep I’m feeling much better, I haven’t self harmed in 2 weeks.” They’d discharge me. And that’s what they did. So a few months had passed, my high school had referred me to the school counselor, I just had P.E and I felt like I was getting worse and worse and the self harm had gotten worse and worse, I couldn’t find any logical reason to stay alive anymore. So I waited till everyone had left and it was just me and one of my school friends there. I don’t remember what I said to her but I just remember my heart beating so fast it was going to explode, I saw the look on her face and she took me to an office not too far from the girls’ changing room. I was sat down on not a particularly comfortable office chair and I can remember just facing the wall. After talking to one of the staff members there he told me that he has to inform my Mum. My heart sunk. I absolutely hate the thought of people worrying about me, fussing over me or even being the slightest bit concerned for me. It seemed to take ages for anything else to happen, my Mum turned up. That’s all I remember, I don’t remember the rest of the day. I don’t remember the journey home. I remember going to “The House” (I think that’s what it was called, let’s just go with that for now) and sitting in an office type room in the back waiting for someone to come speak to me. I think after about 5/10 minutes I was then into another office type room which was near the front of the house on the left. I was sat down with a lady that I thought was going to say I was fine after 2 minutes like I’m used to, but that wasn’t the case. I ended up being there until the end of school. I think the reason I’m still alive today is actually because of the people in that house. I feel like they actually spent time with me, actually listened to me and helped me grow as a person and helped me try to figure out how to cope with stress, anxiety and depression. Of course I had my bad days where I’d just cry and I’d just walk in and say “Sorry” and straight away she’d know what I would’ve done. As she once said, humans have many layers, we just had to try to peel back the layers and find out what was the root cause of my problems. It was around this time that I was super, super confused with my sexuality, this I think might have been one of the reasons why I’d just sometimes fly off the handle and just not think straight (pun not intended). Now I know who I am, I think I’m slowly getting somewhere with my mind and how to cope with the things that I used to find hard to cope with. I’ve had massive support from my family, I knew that if I ever needed to speak to anyone I could, which I think I’m so lucky to have. If I hadn’t of spoken to my Mum, Dad, Sisters or even my Gran I feel like things would be so different to now, I honestly don’t think I’d be here. Past relationships helped shape who I am, they made me realise that this is who I am and if anyone doesn’t agree with who I love then I don’t associate with those people, of course if you’re lesbian/gay/whoever you want to be you’re bound to get some stick from the minority people, I’ve been asked plenty of times what it’s like to kiss a girl, what it’s like to love one. I’m not even sure what kind of question that is, why do you need to ask me what it’s like to kiss a girl, would you ask me that if I was straight? Sorry but the answer to that is no, I wouldn’t get asked half of the things I get asked if I was straight. But it’s just not who I am, I love girls and I don’t even care anymore, I love who I love and there’s nothing I can do about it, and asking me if I’d want to be “straight” for a night so you can “have your way with me” is definitely not going to change it, so please just stop.

I’ve attracted negative things in my life, as I think everyone has. But now, with the people in it I think things are getting more positive. I’m now engaged to my beautiful girlfriend, she’s one of the things I’m glad I’m here for. She’s one of the people that I’m glad I got to meet and fall in love with. All I can say to anyone dealing with depression, anyone that is self harming, just talk. I know it’s scary, I know you might not want to do it but if you want to try and battle this horrible thing that will end up tearing you apart from the inside out, just breathe, have 10 courageous seconds and just say what you need to say. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it. I know I do. I’m not perfect yet, I’m not 100% yet but it’s a lengthy battle but you need to keep strong, you need to keep waking up, going to them counselling sessions, taking the medication if you need to. Just whatever the opportunity is to make the battle with whatever you’re dealing with a little easier, do it. I promise you right now, you won’t regret it. Just please, please speak to someone. I’m learning to cope, I’m learning to deal with my mind and the thoughts that I have, I’m sure one day I’ll look on this and go “wow I’m glad I told people about the shit that I put people through, the shit I put myself through.” and I’ll go about my day, just appreciating everything I have in life. At the minute, I’m appreciating the fact that I’m alive, breathing and I’m in good health. That’s all I can ask for at the minute.